Facing the Odds
by Don’te Smith
On the inside I’m emotionally scarred,
but on the outside life is hard;
therefore, I’m physically scarred,
am I living everyday just to survive?
I thank God everyday that I’m still alive;
Although, I’m struggling everyday,
I’m just facing the odds.
“Man this is a cold world.”
I’m still flipping pages in my Bible as the world turns.
Stranded on the road down memory lane –
from beginning to end:
How do we escape the sin?
Is life beyond time?
That’s just a partial answer all over again.
Life explained by the multitudes,
while my heart aches;
the ink leaks from my broken pen.
Tragedy is more than a mere puzzle, born poor?
Eccentric to my overall mentality,
grave misfortune, and vanity.
Fighting off the demons within trying to keep my sanity –
Death before dishonor –
family over everything to the death of me.
I’m walking through the darkness:
nightmares to that prison cell still haunting me.
I used to smile;
but the struggle twisted it,
now I frown picking up the broken pieces of my heart off the ground.
“What’s the value of a friend when injustice seems to prevail?
That’s just the art and fear in living under the sun –
there’s a time for everything,
but my back against the wall?
I’m just facing the odds –
caught in a snare,
snared in an evil time.
Many times I found myself facing the odds:
all alone Asking God,
“What’s the value of my Diligence?”
Staring down the barrel of a loaded gun.
“What’s the value of my practical wisdom?”
When the Day of my death will be better than my birth.
Scenes of better days flash across the dark sky on a troubled night,
but I made a vow to God;
Therefore, I got a price to pay.
Who can tell what will happen after me under the sun?
Lord! Forgive us, for we know not what to do.
“(R.I.P)” to all my comrades and soldiers lost in the battlefield.
Lord! Be my shield –
I feel forgotten as the love turns to hate.
Is this the description of life’s regularities?
I’m counting my blessings –
knuckles bleeding as I pound my fist.
Neglected by the family –
closest to my enemies.
I’m still trying to find my way through that narrow gate,
but only God can determine fate.
Until then it’s a constant struggle with these worldly ways;
For I’m facing the odds to my dying day,
taking with me my silence to the grave.
Throughout time we will forever be facing the odds.